Even though I’ve exited the cubicle...I too, still am unlearning the desire to prove, prove, prove my way to the top.
In fact, I’m writing this, I’m having a beer at a local restaurant near my house. It’s 2:53pm (Central) - and I have spent the morning being a little derailed from my intent to declutter and spend time without technology. It has been one of those days where everything goes a little different than planned - I woke up late from a bad dream that my boyfriend had a facebook message lover. (Lol, if you’re reading this 10 years from now.)
I opened my inbox after my usual meditation, learning hours - one of the perks of working from home - and I had 30 emails. I haven’t had 30 emails in…. Geez, 2 years maybe.
I INSTANTLY went into let-me-drop-my-personal-need- and-solve-your-mode.
You know, the mode you get in where eating lunch from a container, half eating, half emailing, half texting seems commonplace. The mode where you push off your side-hustle, or dream projects for another day when things aren’t so ‘crazy’. The mode where you dismiss intimacy and making dinner tonight - and the funny part, it’s only 1:00pm when you decide nothing fun can happen for the next three days.
“That stuff will have to wait, works too crazy,” we say to ourselves. We go to our G-Cals, Planners and strike thru our workouts, our dates and our time with friends.
Why do we cancel on ourselves because other people need us?
Because we want to be loved.
We want to be loved by those that pay our bills because their validation seems more worthwhile than our partners, siblings or mothers. We’ll always have theirs, but earning this new project, this new cut - this next level - this has to happen now.
Right? I know you’ve probably had a similar day.
So, how did I flip the script today?
I realized if I want a life different than the one I’m living, I have to make moves now. Maybe just for 20 minutes, but I have to put myself first. The chapter that I am writing to you means more of us get to live out our dreams, and that’s the kind of life I want for all of us.
I hope you’ll find a way to flip your script for just 20 minutes a day as we continue through this process. Let’s look at some of these ways we try to prove our value to others, the ways we try to earn our paychecks.
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